Charles Spurgeon on staying away from Medical forums on the Internet!

I enjoy the internet.  I read and read almost all evening long.  I love to learn and to research medical things.  Must be the "nurse" in me!  However, I've found myself in medical forums that are not good for me to be in.  It seems that people flock to the internet when disasters happen...and they type about it!  Go figure.  It also seems that I've had the ability to stumble across most of those posts...and it has managed to put me into a state of fear and questioning our doctors abilities, depth of wisdom and just down right "compassion" in treating my husband as well as my friends.  This is not good.  Now, logically, I know that people who feel they have been 'wronged' will report it, post about it and try to cause an all out raucous, but I still go back into the the ring for another round.  I almost always come out feeling battered and beaten down.  At times I think I actually BLEED over it!  I've been convicted over and over..."don't go there"!  Something (someone?) calls me back though...thinking I might find just the piece of information that I need to give me comfort, peace, cure...whatever the word I'm looking for here.  I've spent the better part of a year searching...for what?  I think for someone to tell me "if this happens then you can let down your guard and relax" or "if this happens, you might as well prepare to live without your husband or your friend".  Then I realize that I can't relax.  It causes me stress to think about relaxing, if that makes sense.  Perplexing and confusing...at best.  But one thing I do know...I can't go there anymore.  I need discipline to stay away from "danger zones".  There is little, if any, absolute truth found in articles or forums on the internet.  Too many variables to consider and we don't have all the info needed to make those deductions accurately...so, once again, and with Charles Spurgeon's admonition, I will ask God to help me stay away and to be more productive with my time. 

Evening ...

 

Psalm 39:1

I will take heed to my ways.

 

Fellow-pilgrim, say not in your heart, "I will go hither and thither, and I shall not sin;" for you are never so out of danger of sinning as to boast of security. The road is very miry, it will be hard to pick your path so as not to soil your garments. This is a world of pitch; you will need to watch often, if in handling it you are to keep your hands clean. There is a robber at every turn of the road to rob you of your jewels; there is a temptation in every mercy; there is a snare in every joy; and if you ever reach heaven, it will be a miracle of divine grace to be ascribed entirely to your Father's power. Be on your guard. When a man carries a bomb-shell in his hand, he should mind that he does not go near a candle; and you too must take care that you enter not into temptation. Even your common actions are edged tools; you must mind how you handle them. There is nothing in this world to foster a Christian's piety, but everything to destroy it. How anxious should you be to look up to God, that He may keep you! Your prayer should be, "Hold thou me up, and I shall be safe." Having prayed, you must also watch; guarding every thought, word, and action, with holy jealousy. Do not expose yourselves unnecessarily; but if called to exposure, if you are bidden to go where the darts are flying, never venture forth without your shield; for if once the devil finds you without your buckler, he will rejoice that his hour of triumph is come, and will soon make you fall down wounded by his arrows. Though slain you cannot be; wounded you may be. "Be sober; be vigilant, danger may be in an hour when all seemeth securest to thee." Therefore, take heed to thy ways, and watch unto prayer. No man ever fell into error through being too watchful. May the Holy Spirit guide us in all our ways, so shall they always please the Lord.

Tests results and stuff...

Somehow, I figure since I do facebook, that no one even visits this sorely ignored blog of mine.  But knowing that I've googled every Hodgkins Lymphoma blog available during the last year, I figured I should put a follow up on the scan Dennis had on the 20th of Feb.

IT WAS CLEAR!!!

We are so very thankful since in my mind, I had him relapsed.

His cough continued and he was just so tired.  Both were 2 of his first symptoms before we found out he was sick last year.  So...my mind went to wandering where no one should go.  WHEN will I learn??

We had to wait 2 days and had an appt. on Friday.  The doctor walked in and looked at him and said his typical, "Soooo...how are you feeling?"  Dennis said, "You tell me!"  Dr. M. said, "oh..your scan looked great" and handed me the report.  Of course, my eyes scanned and went right to the bottom line..."no lymph nodes measure more than 12mm at short axis", which tells us that all the nodes are continuing to shrink!  Praise God!!  Of course, that doesn't tell us if there is any increased metabolic activity in any of his lymph nodes but the doctor is comfortable with trusting the CT scan, saying if there were any activity, the nodes would be showing some type of growth.  "okay doctor....we'll TAKE IT!"

He said too that his cough could be due to a return of the Bleomycin toxicity, which he had the last month of chemo and had resolved w/ high does Prednisone...so since he hadn't had the opportunity to actually LOOK at the scan himself, he put him back on the steroids at a much lower dose until he had a chance to see the lungs on the scan.  Dennis wasn't happy.  Funny how the thing you you dread most was put to rest but all of a sudden another "bump in the road" can bring you down fast.  We tried to focus on the good news...and not the fact that he was going to have to start that medication again and have the awful side affects that go along with it.  No sleep, eating constantly, headaches, blurry vision, difficulty to multi-task, etc.  We accepted it and went out for lunch...rejoicing over the good news!

With that medication, he had to start an antibiotic again to prevent pneumonitis.  That medication was Dapsone.  He had taken it earlier when he was on the Prednisone.  Had a few uncomfortable side effects, but endured them without complaint.  So...that afternoon, he started the antibiotic again.  Went out to Ally's and took them out for dinner...and by the time he got back to their house, his head was throbbing and he was itching all over!  He said we had to go home now...so off we went.  All the way home, he's scratching himself and I'm thinking...it's a good thing that scan came back negative b/c with this, I'd be SURE the Hodgkins had returned!

Got home and he went up to take a shower in case he had gotten his hands into some garlic oil from the pizza joint and rubbed it on his head or something.  When he came out of the shower, he stood there saying, "Uhhh...I have a problem"!  Oh boy, did he!!  COVERED, head to foot with red patches and hives.  Allergic reaction to Dapsone!  So...he had a choice...go to the ER or start that Prednisone right then and take Benedryl too.  He took the meds.  Called the doctor on Monday  morning and let him know he had an allergic reaction to the antibiotic and he called us right back to tell us he was looking at his scan right then and his lungs were CLEAR...so he didn't have to continue the steroids!!  THANK YOU LORD!  But...you can't just STOP Prednisone, you need to back off slowly.  So...he's been backing off by 1/2 every week.  This next Monday, he'll be down to 5 mg. a day for a week.  Then 2.5 mg. for a week.  He'll probably let him stop then.  Oh..the ups and downs of this journey!

This winter has been long.  Not particularly bad, weather wise, just long.  We are anxious for Spring to arrive.  We get a foretaste tonight b/c of daylight savings time!  LOVE THAT!  An extra hour of daylight is helpful to us!  Next week, I get to fly down and see my grands in Arizona!  I can't WAIT!  Brian is going on a week long hike with his uncle and a couple more men...so it'll just be Amy, the boys and I.  I'm hoping to get a lunch in w/ Miss Rylie at school or something...but we'll have to play that one by ear.  I'm sure we'll have some kind of project to tackle...it's always a fun week in Phoenix!
Sooo...that's my update.  No Cancer!  I could have just kept it at that, right?  :)

Thank you all for your continued prayers....1 year.  That's the goal we're aiming for without a relapse.
I'm hopeful!  We only have 4 months to go!

It's that time of the year again...

This is what Poppie does best  

He loves "resting his eyes" with his littles sleeping on his chest I think this might be where he finds some of his deepest satisfaction in life. I have pictures of him holding this "pose" with Carter and Kierstyn and his own daughters when they were tiny bugs.

He's been a little more tired than usual this past month or so. 2 weeks ago he developed a cough again. I keep telling myself that it's "cold season". The enemy keeps telling me "he doesn't have a cold". The Lord tells me "He's got Dennis safely in His care". I struggle to leave him alone and keep my mouth shut. Some things just don't change. It's the time of year that we hear about more and more health issues. With normal coughs and colds, we go to the doctor and see if we have something that will require antibiotics, surgery, etc. This must be when doctors find out more things than we want to know. My heart is heavy with all that I've heard in the past 3 weeks.

A young man whom we've never met personally but follow his blog has had a relapse of Hodgins. He's in his early 30's and the Lord has developed a "bond" with he and his wife, probably b/c of the fact that we "share" this disease, but mostly to give us an opportunity to pray at a gut level for them. He is probably going to be facing an allogeneic stem cell transplant and needs prayer for healing. This is supposed to be the type of cancer that is curable!!

Then, 3 of our close friends all have had health issues lately. Kidney stones, blod clots, hernias.

 A sweet young friend from church found out she has acute leukemia just this week. She and her husband have 3 teenage children. A lovely child of God...suffering.

A friend's father was recently diagnosed with lung cancer, her brother died yesterday, her sister in law has had 2 back surgeries within 2 weeks time and she is still recovering from knee surgery herself. She is now facing the difficult days of caring for her father, treatments and emotional issues that come with all of that.

Job loss, financial struggles, child discipline issues, health issues...it's always something. The Bible teaches that this world is not a "walk in the park". Trials and tribulations of many kinds.  

BUT GOD... 

Has promised us he will never leave or forsake us. ~Hebrews 13:5 
Has promised us that these trials and tribulations bring us closer to HIM. ~James 1:12 
Has promised us that our trials will be used for our good and for His glory. ~Romans 8:28

That all these troubles are "light and momentary", when we think they are never going to end. "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." ~2 Cor. 4:17,18

It's all about perspective.
We are short sighted.
We struggle at times to keep our eyes fixed on Jesus. We don't seem to welcome the trials. And we must learn how to embrace them.

We have another opportunity next week. Dennis has a CT scheduled for Feb. 20th. Our follow up appt. w/ the oncologist is scheduled for March 8th. We want to have a phone call early to tell us it is clear, but we don't want the phone to ring. Crazy, right?

We find ourselves waiting again.

This is not new with God.

Waiting is a common thread that we read over and over in the Bible.

Wait upon God.

So we will.

I'm a Blog Slacker!!

I've been lapse in blogging.  Seems "life" has taken over and sitting down with the computer to tell others about "our life" is not as interesting as I once thought.  Skype has prevailed.  Facebook has made it too convenient to share what needs to be said (and what doesn't need to be said!) in a much faster way than looking up my login and posting on this blog.  HOWEVER, I miss it.  I look at my friends blogs occasionally and just love feeling so "in-touch" with their families and all the "going's on" with you...so I am going to get back at it...probably after the first of the year.

Just to catch up on all that I've missed...

A belated Happy BD to Amy!  I didn't forget your BD...you know that since I Skyped with you that day!!

Happy belated BD sweet Rylie!!  I know you don't even read blogs so it's not likely that you even missed this lapse from Grammy Cheryl!!

Happy BD Brian!  I know you don't read my blog either...so you won't feel left out!

Happy BD Robin, Scott and Gabe.  Sheesh...we have a LOT of BD's in our family!!

I have a new grand daughter!!  And b/c I can't help myself...here is a little picture of her for those of you who want to see total sweetness!!

She was born November 23, 2012 after only 3 hrs. of labor for Allyson!  I was privileged to be her labor coach and witness the birth of this little lady...and I still marvel at God's plan of life...and how it comes to be!

And a quick up date on Dennis!  He is doing wonderfully!!  He's coming up on 6 months post chemo and has had 2 negative scans which means the cancer is staying dead!  We are coming up on another CT scan which will occur the first part of Feb. most likely, so we covet your prayers on another clean scan!  The biggest rate of relapse occurs in the first year, then the second year...then it jumps to 5 yrs. at which time he will be declared "cured".  We long for that time, yet we know that this means we will be 5 years older!  Ha!!  We pray that we will age graciously...but man...sometimes we whine.

I plan on doing a Christmas post as soon as I get my house in order.  I just spent a fun week with Kierstyn and Julian (my 2.5 yr. old nephew, son of Robin and Scott) and got NOTHING done but playing with them.  As it should be.

And to end this post...I just got a picture of our AZ kids the other day and for my aunts that aren't on FB....here is an updated picture of them.  Hopefully we'll get a snappy of our local's soon!  Having a baby delays pictures!

Here's the snappy!!

And oh...just one more since I had fun taking pictures and editing them last week.....

In the hustle and bustle of your Holiday season....don't forget the true reason we celebrate!!!

JESUS came to earth.

He died.

He rose.

He lives.

DOOONNNNEEEE!!!!

 Today was hubby's last day of chemo!  We pray that it worked and he'll not have to endure treatment for this nasty Hodgkin's lymphoma again!  He did a stellar job with all 12 treatments, working through the 9th treatment.  These last 3 were buggars, but he DID IT!  The last PET scan was "negative" and now we wait for 1 month for the next one to make sure there wasn't one live cancer cell remaining.  Right now, the plan is no radiation to the chest, but we'll see what plan the Lord has for us!  This is Carter's sign language for DONNNEEEE!  We all do it now.  People think we are weird...and you know what?  We might just be! : )

Kiki was at Grammy's house one afternoon and was very tired.  She was whiny and we could tell she was about to have a meltdown...so we told her to go up and take a rest.  This is what I found a little later!

 She got up on that big bed...covered herself up and fell asleep.  Nothing better than a sleeping babe!

Except maybe....

 A happy babe that had to have a car wash towel tied around her hiney b/c we forgot to take panties to the splash pad and we didn't want her wet swimsuit to soak the car seat on the way home!  Grammy's can improvise!!!  Gotta love it!

 And this "crazy hair" child was teaching her baby how to read!  "Feel this Katie...the fur is soft!"

 My little nephew Julian came to visit!  Isn't he a doll?  He's going to be 2 years old later this month. 

 Girl cousins (for lack of trying to figure out the actual relationship!) can be pretty bossy.

But they sure had fun playing with each other!

That's all for now.  It's hot out and I have some pots to water!  And Dennis wants mashed taters.  Guess what a man that has had his last chemo treatment gets?
Mashed taters!

HE IS RISEN!

He Is Risen

On the night before He was crucified, Jesus, while in great anguish, showed the human side of His nature and asked if there was another way for God's plan to be accomplished; "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from Me" (Matthew 26:39a). Though He knew He would be physically, emotionally, and Spiritually tormented, nailed to a cross and hung until dead, He gave His life into the hands of the Father; "Yet, not as I will, but as You will" (Matthew 26:39b). And as sure as Jesus knew God's plan was for Him to die, He also knew He would rise again; "And on the third day He will be raised to life" (Matthew 17:23).

On the third day after Jesus was crucified, Mary Magdalene and her friends saw the empty tomb and immediately ran to tell the disciples; "But they did not believe the women, because their words seemed to them like nonsense" (Luke 24:11). Even after Peter saw the empty tomb for himself, he was perplexed; "He went away, wondering to himself what had happened" (Luke 24:12).

The disciples had walked with Jesus and listened to Him teach about this day but they still did not understand. It wasn't until Jesus personally appeared to the disciples that the events began to make sense; "Then He opened their minds so they could understand the Scriptures" (Luke 24:45).

In an instant, everything fit into place. They finally understood how all the Old Testament scripture pointed to the coming of Jesus and how He would be sacrificed for the forgiveness of our sins. They saw the predictions of His death - and of His resurrection. They finally saw Him as much more than a good teacher, much more than even a mighty king. His resurrection meant He was the Savior, the one and only Son of God!

Romans 1:4
"And who through the Spirit of holiness was declared with power to be the Son of God by His resurrection from the dead: Jesus Christ our Lord."

The resurrection was God's declaration to the world: "This is My Son!" The resurrection lets us know that "with God ALL things are possible" (Matthew 19:26), and it gives us the assurance that every one of His promises will come to pass; if Christ is truly risen, how can any trials of this world possibly lead to defeat?

True belief in the resurrection should fill us with awe and overwhelm us with a sense of peace and thankfulness. He died and rose again so we could live an abundant life and worship Him for all eternity. This Easter season, let's place our faith in the sacrifice of Jesus for the forgiveness of our sins and live in the promise and power of His resurrection. Let's pray for our mind to be fully opened to His truth and for our life to be lived as though we KNOW He is risen!

Have a Christ Centered Day!

Steve Troxel
God's Daily Word Ministries


**** Reading Plan ****

Apr 3 Deut 23:1-25:19; Luke 10:13-37; Psalms 75:1-10; Proverbs 12:12-14


As I read this devotion today, my heart was filled with gratitude for what Jesus did for me! Each year that passes, I re-read the story of Easter and what Jesus went through in order for us to have peace with God. The older I get, the more humbled I am. When I was a child, Easter meant Easter baskets, a new dress, a matching hat and gloves and even a new pair of shoes! My parents knew Easter was a special holiday and that meant we wear our "Easter Best"! I am very thankful for all they did for me, but what God wants is our Easter "worst". He wants us to come to Him with empty arms and an open heart. The Bible warns us about cleaning up the outside, (Matthew 12:44). It would be better to not do anything than to have an outward appearance of holiness but a heart that is far from God. Today, over 50 years later, I barely even think about going out and getting a new dress for Easter. {Although tradition still hangs onto me tightly and I love to get little goodies for my "Grands" Easter baskets!} Ham remains a staple in our home for dinner and Easter Lilies are one of my favorite flowers.
I'm still brought back to the cross. 2012 has brought us to the cross unlike no other. I have SEEN that Jesus was a man, born on this earth, suffered unto death...death on a cross. WHY? So that we might be forgiven. We can't do anything to save ourselves from an eternity in Hell, separated from Christ. We are sinners. That is proven over and over, every day my feet hit the floor. I have good intentions. Intentions of spending lots of time in the Word and in prayer only to hear the phone ring, my lists clamoring or ......! You fill in the blank.

Again, I come back to the cross.

When reading the above devotional, I realized again that JESUS, the sinless GOD-man has emotions as we do. "My father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me." Dennis and I said the SAME thing to God in the early months of this year, before the Hodgkin's diagnosis came in. We didn't WANT to go through the pain and suffering that was ahead of us. The undeniable fear. The waiting. The unknown's that are ahead for the rest of our lives on this earth. All those things we experienced, Jesus Christ HIMSELF experienced in the Garden the night before he went to the cross. HE UNDERSTANDS!! What comfort this brings to our hearts!

He has given us His Word to open our eyes to his promises...his truths. For this we know:

~He will never leave us or forsake us ~Hebrews 13:5
~He comforts the brokenhearted ~Psalm 34:18
~He allows these trials to bring us closer to Himself ~James 1:2,3
~He wants to comfort us in our trials! ~2 Cor. 1:4
~He wants our trials to be used to comfort others who are going through trials"~2 Cor. 1:4,5

The list could go on and on. We are learning much, but one thing we know...our trials will not be wasted. God has comforted us, and continues to do so each day as we lean on Him. We are learning to not get too far ahead of ourselves. Take a day at a time, for God gives us strength for TODAY and bright hope for TOMORROW!

Grace...an old word with new meaning! Our God is a gracious God. He has put a song in our heart and we love Him more today than even we did 4 months ago! We are more dependent on him today than we were 4 months ago! We depend on Him not only for the next breath we take but for the makeup of each blood cell in our bodies. If he knows the number of hairs on our head, he certainly knows the number of blood cells in our bodies!

We are thankful. We are blessed. We are at peace. Chemo continues. The day after Easter Dennis will be at the 1/2 mark. God has blessed us so much and we have no doubt that He will continue the remaining 6 treatments! Things may not go as smoothly as we want, but he is having poison put into his veins. That's not something that was in the original plan of God. YET GOD, in His infinite wisdom and mercy, has allowed modern medicine to proceed in order to glorify Himself. He knows that with healing, comes pain and suffering. HE knows this well. We will follow the Masters plan and as best we can, submit our lives to Him. For you see...we know "The Rest of the Story". For those that believe, we will spend eternity with Him in Glory! Easter is so much more than Easter Baskets, new Easter dresses and ham dinners. It's the heart.

Do you believe that Jesus was a man who was also God, born of a virgin, who came to take our place in death (separation from God)? It is true. And do you know that the difference in Biblical Christianity and ALL other belief's is that Jesus is ALIVE? All other forms of organized "religion" do not have a Savior that is ALIVE! He is alive in every heart that trusts in HIM to save them from their sins.

We know this is true because the Bible say's it's true, but also because we are experiencing first hand the "Peace that passes all understanding through Christ Jesus"! How can one face cancer or any other life threatening disease without Jesus? Where is their hope? In medicine? In Doctors? In healthy lifestyles and organic foods? This world is tainted folks! There is no hope apart from Christ.

As this Holy week continues to speed by...stop and reflect on what it means to you personally. Is it just a time to celebrate Spring? Or is it remembering and rejoicing in what your JESUS has done for you?

We are REJOICING!!

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow!

Two Down, Ten to go!!

His second treatment went better than the first. We did have a little "glitch" but after a 4 hr. trip to the hospital for a test and a little injection of some medication, we packed up and headed back to the infusion center for his second treatment. He had a little blood clot at the end of the catheter of his port making it impossible to get a blood return when they started his chemo. Because of that, we had to go over to the hospital to make sure the port wasn't cracked or pulled out of place. After a short test, it showed us that the line is in place. After the injection, we had to wait 1 hr. and they tested it again. Perfect return! Back to the office for his treatment!

The next day we noticed a lot of hair in the shower. A LOT. Then, after he went to work, I went in to clean that up when I saw there was enough hair on the floor to make a wig. (I may be exaggerating a bit b/c as you know, my mister never has had enough hair to make a wig!) Anyhow, I vacuumed it up, vacuumed his pillow and made the bed.

The next 2 days, the same scenario.

It was time...starting to thin a LOT more and was getting a bit annoying for him. Like when he ate dinner, hair would fall into his plate. That's not fun. In fact, it's down right depressing. So...he decided to take matters in his own hands. Well, he actually decided to call his daughter and put those matters into HER hands! ; ) It was pretty thin by then.

As you can see, she was delighted to take care of this. Her and Amy have both been after their Dad to get a "new updated haircut" for oh...10 years or more! He doesn't like change. So he didn't change anything. But tonight...Ally made the change for him! We made it fun. He didn't think it was so fun, but he's getting used to it now. I think it is hard for anyone to lose their hair from taking chemo...not just women. It's a good thing the "buzz" look is in for men, don't ya think?

A #1 blade. We decided to leave a little stubble for now. Some patients that take ABVD don't lose all their hair, it just thins, so we are going to wait and see how he responds. Next week he may be as bald as a newborn baby's behind...but for now, we'll let him keep some stubble.

We had several titles for him as he was being "shorn". Mr. Clean. Mr. T. Tony Sorci. A cop. A gangsta. He didn't laugh much then, but we've had fun with it in the last 24 hrs. Kiki said, "Poppie, I like your haircut"! I think she was serious! He liked that....and now he's getting used to it!

I LOVE this man!! Oh how I pray that this poison they are putting into him is working and killing the cancer cells! After his first treatment, his lymph nodes were back down to normal and we couldn't even find them! His blood work showed EXCELLENT results and we were delighted! He feels really good! His cough has subsided and other than coming down from the steroids they pump you full of, he feels better now than he has in the past 3 months! He is thinking today that he should have had Amy do this when we were in Phoenix last week. That way he could have gotten a little sunshine on that head...and it wouldn't be so "white"! But he wasn't quite ready to make this change just then.

I told him he should get an earring and a tattoo. He didn't think that was a good idea. We are going to check into new frames for his glasses though. He tried mine on and he looked sort of like he could be on the cover of G.Q. Well, maybe not really, but in my eyes.....

He's just as handsome as EVER!!!

Thank you for your continued prayers! God hears....and he is glorified!

Count it all as Blessings...

December and January have been quite the eventful months! I've been pretty facebook and blog "silent" because I've had things to process...a heart to examine and holidays to celebrate! We had a wonderful Christmas with both of our girls and their hubby's and the "grands" with us...all except Miss Rylie. She was having fun at her mama's over the Christmas holiday this year.

I'll get back to December....but before I do, let me introduce you to the newest member of our family!

Bentley Reid Frahm
Born January 25th, 2012
8 lbs. 3 oz. and 21" long

What a beautiful baby boy! At first, I thought he looked like his big brother, Carter, but the more I looked at him, nope....he looks like his Daddy! Amy had an awful pregnancy, but a very easy labor and delivery. What a blessing!!

He is a healthy baby boy and from what I hear, he likes to cuddle! Good thing, because Grammy and Poppie get to come see him real soon! Can't wait to get my hands on him...and give him all the cuddles I can get! Poppie is taking Carter and Rylie for a "choc-lock-it" donut! Dennis hasn't been able to get away from work to see Brian and Amy's new house in Phoenix, so he's excited to be getting away from the cold winter weather for a bit too! Here's a snappy of Mr. B just about 24 hrs. old. Oh my...isn't he a handsome little man??

For friends and family that read my blog, we've had a little disappointment and trials in December, but so thankful for January....and for the new life that we are celebrating!

Adam and Allyson were looking forward to the birth of their second baby in July, but the Lord had other plans. She found out mid December that her pregnancy was a "blighted ovum" and although it was a sad time, they know and trust that The Lord has other plans for them and they are doing fine. Counting it as a blessing...she had no complications and everything is fine with her. They have been busy moving furniture, painting rooms, laying tile and finishing a workout "room" that they can stay healthy in...or store things in! Ha!

We have a BIG trial on our hands now too...but we are trusting that the Lord has allowed it for our good...and ultimately HIS GLORY! We will walk hand and hand with HIM and are thankful for what He has allowed to bring us closer to Himself. What a blessing!

"They do not fear bad news; they confidently trust the Lord to care for them." Psalm 112:7

See that handsome man of mine in the picture below? Well, after 6 weeks of tests, waiting, 2 surgeries and 1 "port" later, we found out he has Mixed Cellularity Hodgkins Lymphoma. He has been staged at a 2B, and we are thankful they finally got a solid diagnosis and we are on our way to being "cured"!

The past few months, Dennis has had a cough that wouldn't let up. He blamed it on "allergies". I felt it was something else but couldn't get him to go to the Dr. He felt fine, after all. The end of November, he thought he might have picked up a virus b/c he had the shivvers and a low grade temp for about 3 days. With the holidays coming up, 2 pregnant daughters and grandbabies coming, I convinced him to go get it checked out. Pretty normal office visit. He did have a 99.8 temp. that day. Everything else looked good, so she put him on a Z-pak for a couple of rounds and said to call if he didn't get better after a week. I just asked her to "humor me" and do a chest x-ray. His lungs "sounded good", but he hadn't had one in a few years, so she did it. Called us out to the desk and showed us the film and said there was no fluid in his lungs...no pneumonia or bronchitis. Whew! Fast forward 4 days. The office called and said the radiologist found something "suspicious" on his film and he needed to have a CT scan to identify it.
I tried to remain calm...but I "knew" there was something that wasn't good in there. The holidays were fast approaching and we went on with our lives. CT scan day came and went without a hitch. That was on a Saturday AM. Monday at 9:45 I got a call from our doctor that changed our lives on this earth forever.

"We didn't get the news we were hoping for. Dennis has a 6.5x6.5x4.5 cm. mass behind his sternum and we need to get a biopsy right away. I have a call in to Dr. Fara to consult and they will be calling you".

Oh dear Lord. Is this real? MY husband? He just worked all night and he's asleep...HOW DO I TELL HIM?? I RAN to my bible...RAN, I tell you! Read many Psalms that reminded me that our God is sovereign, He is able, HE is in control, HE has our days numbered before even one of them began, HE WILL BE WITH US THROUGH THIS STORM! I could hardly breathe. Honestly...I was sobbing so hard I didn't think I could catch my breath! SURELY they had made a mistake! SURELY this is a dream and I'm going to wake up! Didn't God know that Christmas was coming? Didn't He know that the kids were flying in from Phoenix and I had lots of fun planned for us? Didn't he know this would change ALL of my plans?? For the rest of my life??

Why, yes He did! And yes, this too, is a blessing!

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish it's work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind." ~James 1:2-6

So we have set out on an adventure from the Lord to face some trials ahead. Probably the biggest one so far has been the one to "accept this as from the Lord" and now move forward. I honestly think the 6 weeks of waiting for a final diagnosis was harder than finding out what it was and moving forward with treatment!

Here's his timeline:

Dec. 2: Went to the GP
Dec. 7: Dr. called to tell us he had a mass
Dec. 10: CT scan
Dec. 12: Dr. called to tell us it was big...and needed to be biopsied. 1 hr. later, our friend the pulmonologist called and said to meet him at his office at 3 and he'd show us the CT and talk to us. We went, we saw and we were scared. He "thought" it was lymphoma. He didn't think he could get to it with a bronchoscopy so he had already called a thoracic surgeon. He'd be calling us. He couldn't tell us what type of lymphoma it might be, but he did say there was no lung, spleen, heart, kidney or node involvement. PRAISE THE LORD! Then, Dennis went to work for the night!
Dec. 14: Met with the surgeon. He looked at the CT and didn't think it was lymphoma, but rather a seminoma. Oh dear Lord. (people die of those, very quickly!)
Dec. 19: 1st surgery. Mediasteinoscopy. Inconclusive results. Sent pathology to Mayo's. Waited forever.
Dec. 22: post op visit. No conclusive results yet. UGH
Dec. 23: Our AZ kids flew in for Christmas. Merry Christmas, Dad has cancer!
Dec. 24: We felt lymph nodes in his neck swelling! The office was closed.
Dec. 25: Celebrated Christmas...sort of. So glad our kids were here, even though they might not have been!
Jan. 30: Took the kids back to South Bend to fly home. I bawled all the way home, in the rain, sleet and snow.
Jan. 1: Happy New Year! It's gonna be a wild one!
Jan. 8: Called the surgeons office and told them his nodes were still swollen in his neck, it wasn't due to the surgery. Dr. scheduled a PET scan and wanted to see him.
Jan 10: PET scan done
Jan 12: Follow up w/ surgeon. He confirmed the swollen nodes. Jumped up and down b/c now he didn't have to go into his chest with a major surgery to remove more of the "mass" for a good biopsy! Scheduled for another biopsy. PET scan showed it was all contained above the diaphragm, meaning it was most likely going to be staged at a 2 instead of a 3!
Jan 16: Biopsy of supraclavicular nodes revealed HODGKINS LYMPHOMA. The pathologist was in the operating room and found the Reed-Sternberg cells we were praying for! Installed the port in his chest for chemotherapy. It's real now!
Jan 17: First appt. with the oncologist, labs done and tests scheduled
Jan 18: Lung function Test, to determine how well his lungs are functioning, duh! b/c one of the chemo drugs can damage them and they want to know where they are starting from.
Jan 19: Bone marrow biopsy done, then went to the dermatologist to have a couple of skin "cancers" looked at and treated. She froze them and said he looked good. (just goes to show you looks can be deceiving!)
Jan 20: Dentist appt. to have his teeth cleaned and then to the hospital for a MUGA test (to test his heart function b/c one of the other drugs can cause long term heart damage!)
Jan 25: Back to oncologist for test results, staging and plan. No cancer in the bone marrow!! {blessing!} Labs looked good! {blessing!} Lung function and heart test looked perfect! {blessing!} Stage 2 B. There are 4 stages of lymphoma (and most cancers). He is in stage 2 b/c it's all contained above the diaphragm! {blessing!} The "B" is b/c he had a few night sweats, nothing drenching, but even if you have a little, they stage you further along. He is also has a couple other negative prognostic factors, he's over 50 and he has what they call a "bulky mass", meaning it is harder to make those things go away completely. God is bigger than "they' are though and we are praying and trusting that He'll make all those cancer cells die! (while Dennis is on this earth and alive!) Doctor said there is a 90% "chance" {we don't believe in chance!} for full cure! Dennis wanted to know what happens to the other 10%? That's Dennis...always asking silly questions! Ha! The Dr. has him on ABVD chemotherapy. Every 2 weeks for 6 months. Pretty strict, but good results. We're ready...well as ready as we can be! "We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us".

So...this is where we stand.

Cancer. UGH. Scared of it. UGH. Had his first treatment on Jan. 26th. 7 hrs. long b/c of having to do test runs on the meds. He passed! Came home and he was tired. That might be b/c they gave him 50 mg. Benadryl in his IV...ya think?? He woke up for dinner...ate well. We went for a brisk walk around the block in the fog. Pretended we were in London and we decided we weren't going to come back to America. We ended up back at home in 20 minutes! Ha!

He slept really good...even with the mega doses of steroids they pump into you and make you take them for 2 days following treatment. Those caught up with him. We did errands the day after chemo. No nausea at all...ever! PRAISE GOD!

Day 2 after chemo he was jittery. From the steroid. Felt fine...tired, but fine.

Day 3 after chemo he was jittery in the AM but better in the evening. Fell at work, not b/c of the chemo, but b/c he was backing up and his pant leg caught on a pallet...not a good mix. He felt a bit sore this morning, but was okay.

That has you all caught up to date now. I'll try to not make my boring blog into a boring "medical" blog, but I will update you on here b/c I can't keep writing individual emails and facebook messages forever. I might let the FB world know...I'll have to see how the new format is first.

Thank you all for praying as we walk this road. It is not one I thought I'd be on so soon after losing Mom and Dad, but it is what the Lord had designed for us, so we will walk it hand and hand. I asked Dennis the other day if this is the "for worse" part of our vows? He smiled and said, "nope...we aren't going to have any "for worse"! I love that man!!! He is a gift from God and I'm here to tell you, if you get mad at your husband for not doing or saying what you want him to do or say, just imagine for a moment that he has cancer...one that is in his blood. I'm thinkin' you won't be mad any longer! I am Dennis' helpmate. I have prayed that I will be an encouragement to him throughout his chemo...and his entire life, for that matter! I've prayed little things like, "Lord, put on my heart the things that would taste good to my husband as he goes through these chemo treatments so it would be pleasing for him to come home and have dinner!". I've prayed for healing...total and complete obliteration of all of the cancer cells. I've prayed that we would have opportunities to share the joy and love of Christ at the chemo treatment center as we go and sit for 4 hrs. every 2 weeks. I've prayed that above all, Jesus Christ is glorified in this trial! We want it to count! We want to run the race...and finish well!

Please join us!

"You are good, and what you do is good; teach me your decrees." ~Ps. 119:68