50 days...You've GOT to be kidding!!

Dad looked pretty good this morning when he FINALLY got back to his room! When we got there, his bed was empty! (we don't like that unless we know where he's at!) LOL! His nurse was quick to be found and told us his WBC had gone up and created a scuttle for the Dr. so down he went for an ultrasound of his PICC line in the upper right arm....which I thought was a pretty routine thing for a week or so after it was placed. Guess not...b/c within an hour, Dr. lungman came in to tell us he has a DVT (deep vein thrombosis aka blood clot) in that arm and his PICC line needs to come out! (those doctors are just so smart to know what to look for!) They tried twice to start a regular IV with no success, so they are giving him blood thinner shots in his belly and he will have that line taken out on Monday (regular working hours...oh man..that one I don't like too well!) and a new one put in the upper LEFT arm at that time. He still gets antibiotics given and blood drawn through his PICC line, so it's imperitive that he has an open one ready to go. Again, Dr. Stephanie (his cardiologist galpal) and I looked at one another and said, "what else?" She doesn't seem too worried about it since they found it so quickly, but Dr. lungman has them watching for shortness of breath, chest pain or a drop in his oxygen saturation which could indicate that the clot broke off the PICC line and went to his lungs. Once again, I will give him to the Lord b/c I am not in control. Other than this little setback, he ate about 20% of his breakfast and lunch! Said he didn't have much pain at all and acutally is feeling pretty good for all he's been through. He's started asking about how to care for the colostomy, so I know he's alert and ready to move forward. There was talk about him moving to rehab the first of the week if he was strong enough, but Dr. Steph told him he just bought himself another 3-4 days in this hospital. Ya know...I'm taking that as the Lord has a very special place for him to go to rehab and there just isn't a bed ready for him yet. We HAVE to try to look at this from God's perspective...otherwise it would just be so depressing! So...the Lord IS working this all our for our good and HIS glory! AMEN!

Dennis and I made a Home Depot run tonight...got lawn bags (no, no one has offered to clean up our leaves since we've been so busy!) and got the truck washed and filled with cheap gas. ($4.03/gallon!) I'm getting ready to crawl into my jammies...unless the Lord returns, there will be another day tomorrow!

Oh...Dennis and I ate on the porch tonight...it was just lovely out and we laughed at the mosquitoes that wanted in to join us, but were stuck on the outside of those beautiful screens! This is going to be GREAT!!! Just a little bright spot of our day....dinner for 2 on the patio!

Answered Prayers!!

I was soooo blessed this morning when I went into Dad's room! He was awake, alert and had a wave for us at the door while we were doning our "bluebird" attire. (aka plastic isolation gowns). His little Aide told us that he had taken all his orange juice and a "few" bites of scrambled egg for breakfast! Off to the races!! Soon, Dr. lungman came in and said he looked great and sounded much better....continue to do the incintive spirometer and "flutter pickle" to help open up his lungs and bring up the phlegm (sorry) and help his lungs to get fully expanded b/c he needs all the air he can get. His O2 is great at 98-100% nasal cannula. I'm hoping they will start trying him off the O2 soon...see how he does, but for now, it's fine. His GP came through about the time PT was getting him up to the chair so he stood at a distance and admired his hard work! Said..."this is what we want to see....keep it up and you'll be going home before you know it!" GREAT WORDS DOC!!!

Dad sat up for over an hour but was so anxious to get back to bed....he finds comfort there! I shaved him (got that Don Pedro mustache off....the one I couldn't get b/c he didn't have his teeth in until today!) so he looks like MY dad again! We did a little leg lifting and such and about 30 min. before his lunch was scheduled to come, they lifted him back to bed so he didn't wear out and not want to eat.

Lunch...baked chicken, mashed potatoes, green beans, brownie. HE ATE 1/3 of the potatoes/gravy and about 2 T. of cut up chicken. SUCCESS!!! Didn't get sick at all...and boy did he perk up after he was finished. I didn't force anymore, but Mom, bless her little heart, was up at 5:00 this morning making Peanut Butter cookies and she brought him one. When that little jewel came out of her purse, his eyes lit up! He said, "just a little nibble honey". MUSIC TO MY EARS!!! Peanut Butter=protein=strength! Washed it down with a little water and he was ready to rest.

Dr. Stephanie (his lovely cardiologist) came in for a chat...just a chat, not b/c she needed to be there. She is just a darling woman and loves my parents b/c they were one of her first patients when she moved to this area. She encouraged Dad and he talked to her like she was his daughter! Even gave her a winker when she asked how he was doing today! OH...Dad is coming back to us!!! He showed off a little by lifting his legs in bed and he just perked up again as she praised his hard work! FINALLY, THEY ARE LOOKING AT HIM AND NOT HIS NUMBERS!!!

Mom and I were starvin' about 2ish so we got him situated, he didn't need anything for pain, got him to agree to eat 1/3 of his dinner and off we went for lunch, grocery store, bank and home. It is a full day to get all those things in. Now...I need to get down there and make honey a Chicken Cesear Salad for dinner. He's on his way home and I'm sure he ate earlier than 2:00! I hate it when that happens! I'm no more hungry than the man in the moon...(is the man in the moon ever hungry?) but Dennis will be....so...off I go!

LETS REJOICE TODAY!

Up, up, in the chair!

I started my day at the hospital with the unit manager. She was a very kind and caring young nurse, who actually took care of Dad personally the last night he had to go to the ICU, so she was familiar with him and his history, which helped move our conversation along nicely. I pointed out some of my many frustrations and she agreed with every one of them, telling me how understaffed they were and such. Although I UNDERSTAND this is an ongoing problem with hospitals, there have been a few things that are just not at all appropriate that needed to be addressed. So after MUCH prayer this morning, it was my desire that I could do that in a God honoring way. I hope I did...and within 1 hr. of our meeting, his GP came in and told him it was time to turn the corner. They were going to take out his nutrition line after this bag was empty and he HAD to start eating. He has a choice of working his hardest to get into a rehab unit at another hospital or a nursing home. Of course, Dad is working for the rehab hospital. (which sounded horrible to him 4 weeks ago!) We got a few meds changed to suit him more and PT was in there right after his GP left...the lung Dr. (PTL!) was on the floor and actually came in and saw him and waited for the portable chest xray so he could look RIGHT AT IT!! He wanted to show it to me but I told him I had no idea what I was looking at and I would trust him to evaluate that! DUH! Oh...that was such comfort to me, thus the Lord answering my prayers of some "resolution" one way or another this very day! His chest xray was soooo much better than yesterday's and the day before! PT had gotten him UP..he was sitting on the side of the bed (much to his displeasure!) for 15 min. then they thought he was stable enough to stand and pivot to the chair. HE DID IT! (with much support) Stayed up a total of 45 minutes, then back to bed...but he did it! Last time he did this, his incision came apart the next day, so we are praying that this won't happen again but he'll be sore. He has gotten to the point that he is going to die if he lays there in that bed so we had nothing to loose and everything to gain. I have been working with him on Physical Therapy the past few days since they are so short staffed, but I'm not the same b/c I'm his kid. He was actually surprised he was as strong as he was and I think it almost scared him a bit. The lung guy said his lungs sounded soooo much better and after tattling on Resp. therapy and P.T. not doing what had been ordered a few days ago, they came right up after he was up and started clapping on his back...ohhhh...daddy-o didn't like that one little bit, but it was over quickly and he coughed well, which is key to getting rid of the gunk. So...dr. lungman was happy! Dr. GP was happy and daughter was happy.

Next HUGE prayer request...that he'll eat. I couldn't convince him to take anymore than a few sips of Ensure for lunch. The GP said that the TPN (nutrition going into the vein) can actually take away your appetite, so they are giving him a pill to increase his appetite (oh..don't let that come NEAR ME!) and also when they discontinue it, they are hoping his appetite comes back b/c the next step is tube feedings, which means the rehab hospital will not take him into their program. You know what than means! It's hard to eat when you haven't had anything but sips and bites for over 6 weeks. (so they say! I'd probably eat a house down!) PRAY that this will return as we slowly reintroduce food to his diet tomorrow.

I discussed with the Unit Director today as well as 2 of his docs that I understand what he's gone through and he had survived 3 events that would take most peoples lives, BUT...our Lord has brought him through all of them for a reason....and I am NOT going to just let him lie there and die b/c of a lack of communication or being short staffed. I went on to say that if God chose to take him home b/c of heart failure, respitory failure or some other means of death, that would be HIS choice, but until then, we had to work as a team and continue to encourage him as long as it's today! Tomorrow will have another set of problems of it's own, but he was willing to work towards recovery today, his labs are all good, his color was good...he was WILLING to work...so LETS GET GOING!

Sometimes we have to speak for those who can't and today was my day to speak for my Dad. I love him and I want to see him recover from all this so he can tell of the grace of our God in times of intense trial...if God chooses to call him home tonight, I'm okay with it, but if He chooses to bring him through, I'm going to be his biggest (literally) cheerleader! God is SOOO GOOD and we must work until his name is glorified over all the earth! TODAY I was convinced it needed to be glorified in this Catholic hospital! I hope and pray it was and that I didn't come across as a nasty, demanding daughter. It was only my desire to have better communication between drs., nurses, and support staff and to correct what was clearly not right....no demands, no threats, but just genuine concern for the healthcare of my father.

That's enough, don't ya think? I just had to share with you that often, especially in the healthcare of the elderly, we need to help them. They so often get overlooked b/c they are afraid of speaking out or even discussing their healthcare with their physician and also b/c they don't understand what is going on with them. Perhaps the Lord had me become a nurse so I could see that doctors are humans too and not to be afraid to talk to them! They are just like you and I! I respect them so much for they are so much smarter and experienced than I could EVER be, but they need to stop and listen and do what is best for the patient. Sometimes that means skipping lunch...hmmmmm, how often does a Mom do that?? : )

Thanks for praying...and for listening, as always.

LONG day 47

Today started early for us. At the hospital in hopes to help Dad eat some breakfast, but his tray beat us in and out of the room so we stayed around for lunch! He took only 4 bites of pudding and that was all. I worked with him doing exercises in bed...stretches and leg lifts...foot presses, etc. but no physical therapy came today. I asked his nurse to call them up...she called, but alas, no PT. Mom and I ran out for lunch (mexican again, oh yeah!) and back by 1:30. Only caught one of his Drs. today, his GP who offers very little unless we need something to help make him comfortable. I, feeling a TAD BIT FRUSTRATED proceeded to tattle to the Dr. on PT...the fact they hadn't come yesterday OR today and he'd ordered it yesterday morning early. He told the nurse that he wanted them up there, but they were gone for the day. What's a gal gotta do?? I am going in tomorrow AM to meet with the Unit Manager. I know he is getting good care, but I just feel too many things are beginning to fall through the cracks with Dad moving in and out of their unit so often to ICU and back again. Can't hurt, right? I am beginning to think they have all given up on Dad...that they don't think he is going to survive so they aren't worrying about things as much. Add to the mix that you have to put on gown, gloves and mask everytime you enter the room and wash your hands both upon entering and exiting...it's no big surprise that they cut down on room visits. Dad is comfortable...I asked him today if there was anything he needed that he wasn't getting and he said no. Guess I should let well enough alone, but I can't.

For all you medical folks...WBC is back down in the normal range. No chest xray result back by the time I left, but very wet sounds in his lungs. Still won't eat. Looks pale. All other labs are normal. Vitals stable but pulse is climbing back into the upper 90's again and his respirations are back up in the upper 20's most of the time. So....WHY does he look so bad? I just pray and trust God to care for his needs....spiritual, emotional and medical. I can rest tonight b/c THE Great Physician is on call 24/ 7!!! Be at Rest once more oh my soul, for the Lord has been good to ME!

"Give them something to Eat!"

Our world is full of people in deep spiritual need. Most have never placed their trust in Jesus for the forgiveness of sin and are literally starving right before our eyes. But even many Brothers and Sisters who love the Lord are desperately hungry to know Him more, or they have been wounded and are in need of long term spiritual nourishment.God's Word tells us to have open eyes and a soft heart such that we can recognize the needs and bring them before our Father in prayer; "In everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God" (Philippians 4:6). But then we are told to carefully listen for God's leading and fully expect to be put to work.One afternoon, a crowd of over 5000 people had gathered to hear Jesus teach; "He welcomed them and spoke to them about the kingdom of God, and healed those who needed healing" (Luke 9:11). The disciples saw it was getting late and would soon be time to eat. They recognized the need of the people, came before Jesus, and "presented their request."Luke 9:12-13"Late in the afternoon the Twelve came to Him and said, 'Send the crowd away so they can go to the surrounding villages and countryside and find food and lodging, because we are in a remote place here.' He replied, 'You give them something to eat.'"When the disciples approached Jesus, they presented the need...but they also presented their solution. They knew the people were growing hungry, but their solution was to send them elsewhere for food. We often make this same mistake when we limit God by our own vision and understanding. Jesus' solution to this need was to bless the few provisions the disciples could gather and then accomplished His work through their hands; "They all ate and were satisfied" (Luke 9:17).God never asks us to do something without also providing the necessary tools to accomplish all He desires. We have been empowered by His Spirit and equipped through His Word. Yes, we must continue to pray; but our prayers ought to be with an understanding that God may very well direct US to carry His life-giving food and be a vessel for His healing. There can be no greater work here on earth than to take part in restoring someone's relationship to our Heavenly Father. Only God can truly heal, but He has invited us to join Him in this awesome work. Let's continue to lift up the many needs to God in prayer, but then let's prepare for His answer - His invitation - which calmly says, "You give them something to eat."Have a Christ Centered Day!

Steve TroxelGod's Daily Word Ministries

I couldn't help but think of Dad today and how he NEEDS to eat something! I know our Lord knows all things...and HE will supply all of Dad's needs, but this should serve to remind us how many people we meet daily who NEED the Lord!

New Prayer Request for Daddy-O

My dear Dad has struggled with depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember. As his infections seem to be getting a bit better, his depression and anxiety seem to take hold stronger and the grip seems tighter. He was moved out of ICU late last night. I think they kept him in as long as they didn't need the room for a more seriously ill patient, but that ended around midnight last night. He is back in IMCU and although his white count is a bit higher today than it was yesterday (indicating infection) he seems to be very stable and most labs are within normal range. He gets another chest xray tomorrow AM...and normal labs, which they can draw from his PICC line so he doesn't have to get stuck. It's just been such a long haul for him and he thinks he's dying. I know that WE do not know that...only the Lord does, so I keep pushing him to get better, get stronger, etc. I told him today that he WAS NOT going to die of laying in that bed and not moving. If the Lord took him home b/c of a heart attack or respiratory arrest, then so be it, but he was NOT going to die b/c he gave up! He seemed to respond and worked with me on some passive resistant exercises with his feet/legs and arms. He has more strength than the thinks he has, thus the depression and anxiety rears it's ever so ugly head! He is getting antidepressants and anti anxiety meds and I think it's doing him more harm than good right now. I wish there were something I could do or say to encourage him. I shaved him and combed his hair and told him we were doing excercises! He worked hard and then said he'd like to get up in a chair (with the lift) for 20 minutes...not 30 minutes, but 20! He's such a hoot! I had to leave at that point to take Mom back for her appt. for her leg, so not sure if PT got him up or not. Please pray for his attitude! Satan has controlled his mind for so long in regards to his anxiety...and he has professed Christ recently. I believe he is saved, but he needs our prayers and encouragement in that light. So....just pray as you are led with this info! I know he hates it that he has to have such a struggle, but it is what it is...and I know our God is stronger than depression!!! Pray for a bright tomorrow!!! God is good...and it's pleasing for us to PRAISE HIM and trust that HIS ways are best! I know this is true!!!

On a good note...Mom's Dr. visit came out fine. The shot last week helped her so much! We stopped at the post office trying to figure out what the postage is these days....who knows?? Then at Walgree.ns to pick up prescriptions for her....then home. Now...just waitin for my honey!

Twas' a long day, but I got my house cleaned this morning, the laundry well on it's way to being done (less the ironing!) and dinner is in the oven. All in all...it was a good day. Thanks for your prayers on our behalf! God is so good to us! Teaching us all how to endure through the tough times...but giving me joy all the way!

I got a fwd. email (you know those kind) from a couple of dear friends from Indiana the other day. It was about Ob.ama being the antichrist...I replied..."If this is true, then PTL...the Lord's return is very near!" I truly believe that it might be! With the lovely clouds that rolled through NW Indiana today, I was looking for HIM! But for now...I will finish the pizza and salad!

P.S. One more thing...the pneumonia with mrsa is VERY contageous so say's the Drs...thus the masks now. Please pray that since he was coughing so hard last week and I felt it on my face...that my immune system is strong enough to keep infection away. I haven't been afraid of it but this afternoon at the Dr. office, he warned me of making sure I didn't have symptoms of a cough or anything b/c it could be fatal if ignored. We didn't have to wear masks and gowns last week. God will protect me...right? : )

Memorial Day...Pretty low key here.

Mom and I went up to see Dad this morning and stayed till around 1:30 ish. He is now in strict isolation b/c the culture came back positive for mrsa in his lungs....from the pneumonia. What next?? I try to not think about that much, but just trust the Lord who is THE GREAT PHYSICIAN. I know God knows what is best and although there are times I just remind HIM we are still down here calling out to Him, it seems at the end of the day, I am able to rest. Praise the Lord! Dad ate about 6 spoons of mashed potatoes and gravy with a little turkey and one carrot coin smashed up in it for lunch. I told him it was his own tiny chicken pot pie (he LOVES those!). He has absolutely no appetite which makes it hard for him to eat anything. He slept most of the time we were there today which is just what the docs want. Mom and I sat in the chair trying to keep our stylish blue plastic gowns from crackling yet flappin our legs every once in awhile b/c we're so hot in them! We have nothin' to complain about! So....that's the daddy update. Keep prayin' yall!

Dennis and I went out to Adam and Ally's for dinner and to look at their gardens! They are doing such a great job of planting and she is right...there are 5 corns comin up! Lots of beans, sugar snap peas and a few cantelope are beginning to pop their seedlings. We need some rain here...that will make it all grow good! (even the weeds!) Here are some pics of the front yard, where they got several starts from our garden and today Adam's Gpa gave them starts for asparagus (which we had for dinner...YUMMO!), strawberries, Red raspberries and a couple maple trees that they will plant in the backyard! Adam's Aunt gave them starts for more Hosta and lily of the valley. As she was planting that tonight, we were singin that song....remember that Amy??? You...you...know! "Does my breath smell like garlic?" LOL! Take a peek at their labor below. It's gonna be so perty! : )

This was their haul from our house on Sat.

They did all the landscaping themselves! Grass to follow!
Their sweet little garden where Ajuga and Lily of the Valley reside!

Day 44...

We had a restful day. After church, Dennis and I grabbed a Subway, then up to the hospital. Scott was coming over to take Mom out for late lunch and then up, so we let him have that shift today. Dad looked better. He has pneumonia, so that's why he took the turn for the worse, but they are hoping the antibiotics will get rid of that. Time will tell. He slept pretty good last night with the BiPAP machine and was able to get a little coughed up today. His chest xray looked better and his lungman said he sounded a tiny bit better. Dad took 3 little bites of chicken for me at lunch. Baby steps...they are okay with me. He's afraid to drink the Ensure b/c he couldn't keep that down last week when he began to get sick again and he thinks it might happen again. Hopefully he got some mashed potatoes for dinner..he likes those on a good day, so we'll see. His cardiologist said he could move back out of the ICU today, but the lungman said no. I'm glad about that since they take SUCH good care of them down there. Honestly, I think they almost know as much as the drs. do! They all have such a good working relationship with each other too, which makes for a peaceful area. Those nurses KNOW every lab result of the day and every chest xray result...I could go on, but you get the picture!

We're hoping to get out to Adam and Ally's tomorrow to see the things they've planted. I'll be making a page for them of their plantings..but for now...I'm hittin the hay!

Thanks so much for praying...the Lord is giving me such peace but I have to keep my mind on HIM! DUH!!! Why is that so hard for me? ; )

Psalm 138:8

"The Lord will accomplish that which concerns me." The NIV say's it this way:
"The Lord will fulfill his purpose, for me."

I've had this verse by my computer for over a year now...to remind me what is TRUE about my "concerns" aka: worry!! It doesn't say how long it will take to accomplish it but the rest of that verse says, "your love, O Lord, endures forever-"

Oh how I've clung to this verse and said it over and over to many people as they ask me how I am doing. I love the part of that verse that says "endures forever". When I think I can't go another day, HIS WORD reminds me that His love endures forever! What a precious truth!

Dad's heart rate is normal once again. The medication is working on that, but he MUST cough up the junk in his lungs. He has no strength to do that. They can suction what he can get up to his throat, but that's it. The Dr. is putting him on a BiPAP breathing machine tonight with the hopes of him being able to relax and sleep and let the machine put puffs of air in his lungs and he won't have to labor so hard just to breathe. Normal breaths per minute are 16-20...his is 30-35. His heart was beating so fast to compensate for that but they had to slow it down so it wouldn't poop out. Just a vicious cycle. If he doesn't get some rest tonight enough to get the energy to cough up some stuff tomorrow, the Drs. are talking about intubating him again hoping his lungs might get strong enough again. (in other words, giving him a rest so he can heal) Not a front line choice given the fact that he already has infection in there. This is a decision we don't want to make...so our prayer is that we won't have to make it. Dad is still very much able to make decisions and he wants us to keep trying to make him better...so we will honor that desire. It's hard to see him suffer, but he's a trooper! Such a good example for me in endurance!

Our Present Suffering

"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." Romans 8:18

Dad is back in ICU tonight. Uncontrolled A-Fib and Congestive Heart Failure. Both can be reversed, but he's very, very weak. He is more at peace...perhaps b/c he's back with his "girlfriends" down on the 3rd floor...but I am hoping it's b/c the Lord has given him HIS supernatural peace.

I'm letting God take the nightshift again tonight. He does that far better than I can! Aren't you glad that our Great God can be listening to all of us at once? This is something that struck me when I was first saved 25 yrs. ago and continues to just thrill my soul! What an awesome God we serve! I too am at peace tonight. God is soooo good!

G'night all!

Future Glory

"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will. And we know that in ALL THINGS God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:26-28

As I read these verses that Sandy posted on her blog this morning, they have stuck in my mind most of the day. Especially the last one, that we all know and repeat so often. This evening, my dear Carolyn reminded me once again that only the Lord can console Dad...and me for that matter. Although I had dashed through the day, praying so often and even starting my day with a gander at Sandy's devotional, I must admit that this has too often been my pattern for my time with my Lord since my days have been rearranged with hospital stuff. I have confessed this to God and ask that you all help me and hold me accountable for this. TWO main issues of conviction:

1. Little time IN the Word (even tho much time pondering it's truths)
2. I've been anxious about everything, still giving thanks, yet not completely turning my worries over to my heavenly Father.

I'm sure you all have seen this as you have continued to pray and encourage me. I must turn to the Savior alone! It's such a difficult balance for me...wanting to know and plan based on medical info. I get, yet when I get that, just setting it aside and trusting GOD to heal or call him home.

So...tonight, as I read and re-read and pray over this passage, I'm struck by the fact the even those times I would fall to my knees and have no words, the Spirit would be interceding on my behalf and in our best interest to comply with God's will! I knew that...but it hit me again tonight...I must back away and let GOD work so HE alone gets the glory! No matter what happens, if I'm in a tissy all the time, the attention is on me (and Dad). {hangin my head again!}

I'm giving this to God once again...laying it at HIS feet. I have trusted HIM to care for Dad's needs tonight...even those needs I've been unable (and frustrated) b/c I can't meet. Perhaps this is not only good for me...but it is good for Dad too. First step of trust...I'm going to bed now, without calling the hospital for my bedtime update. The Lord will stir me when it's time he wants me involved. For now...HE will take the "night watch".

g'night ladies! and thank you again for standing shoulder to shoulder with me, crying when I cry and rejoicing when I rejoice! You are truly my Sisters and I love you all so much!

41...but who's counting?

Besides medicare?? I don't even want to think about it but when one of Dad's Drs. asked if there were any questions he had for him, Dad wanted to know if he could still stay in the hospital b/c he was afraid medicare was going to kick him out! Oh...Dad's totally with it mentally!

He was up in a chair for 1 hr today and tolerated it well. I was there around 8ish and they hadn't put the new line in by 4 when I left. I did talk to the Dr. on the phone and he said he was going to up within a couple hours that I could leave and he'd take the next watch! That was his way of telling me I'd been there far too long today! I was called at 12:30 this morning with news that Dad had been in A Fib again but he converted back to normal heart rhythm in 2 hrs. They had to start a high powered heart medicine that the titrate how fast it goes in needing to get his rapid pulse down to normal without letting his BP go too low too. Medicine...it's amazing what they can do with it. Apparently the nurses thought I'd like to know, thus the middle of the night phone call. I was thankful they called, but it was a bit unnerving and it took some prayer to get back to sleep. I was up again at 6 and on the phone to the nurse going off duty to see how he did thru the night...stayed consistant but she thought the Dr. was going to be in early to place the new line...so off I ran, only to leave this afternoon without it having been placed yet. God is in control...not me! Went over to check Mom and thankfully, her leg is much better looking than 2 days ago. She still complains of it hurting "clear to the bone" but there is nothing I can do for that but keep her off it for a few more days. I'll see how I can do with that. She's anxious to go see Dad, understandably so.

I made it through another day...(almost!) with the Lords help! I prayed with Dad before I left tonight for peace in his anxiety and for healing. He likes it when I pray. I'm so glad about that. Pray that he will rest in the Lord and for a good night sleep. Also, pray that he will be able to keep his food down and begin to eat well. That is IMPERATIVE to healing! Thank you so much for caring!

Won't it be great when I can write about my garden, my kids, how I am redecorating Amy's old room...etc.? I have no time for that yet...but there will come a day!

UPDATE...Dad couldn't eat his dinner tonight. Cardiologist is going to replace his line tomorrow, on call, so we don't have a time for that. He's very anxious tonight. I just wish so much that he could relax!! Hard to for me to stay at home knowing these things. Now you know how to pray tonight. Thanks so much!

40 days and 40 nights...

That is what today marks for Dear ol' Daddy. I figure if Jesus had to wander that long, I can too. (at least I've had food and water!) I know I whine about it more than he did though! Today was a better day although we had a little misunderstanding between Drs., nurses and radiology reports. That got straightened out and no one was harmed (PTL!) and they are going to put a new PIC line or subclavian line in tomorrow morning sometime. They got him up in a chair for 20 min. or so today with the help of the overhead lift. He can't bear weight at all. Those little tiny legs...looks like the children we are sending food overseas for! He lost his breakfast this morning but the Dr. thinks that might be due to some meds he is getting that were in his IV, but are now in pill form. He did better this afternoon and I made him a chocolate shake with Ensure and ice cream. Drank the whole thing. The chicken soup still hasn't sounded good to him, but he had a regular food tray come in for dinner today if only he could eat it. I made his shake about an hour before his dinner tray came, so it was reasonable that he wasn't hungry yet. His WBC is rising a little so they are looking for infection again. Could be his catheter (they cultured that today) or might be his port for IV's that they have in his neck. (Thus the urgency for changing that location). They took out the two drains from his belly last night, so that is a positive thing. He looks better today, which is probably the BEST evaluator for me...bein his kid and all. The Drs. look under the covers and the nurses look at numbers and give meds. Guess it takes a village to heal a sick man! (and the LORD!) Keep prayin...we've got a long way to go!

Mom stayed at home today...got her on some meds and her leg actually looks some better. It's hard for her to stay away from Dad though...but she too is learning to trust the LORD! A mighty big lesson for all of us! I stopped on the way home from the grocery store and took her KFC for lunch...so she was well fed today!

Thank you all again for your prayers...the Lord is the one that gives me the strength to get up each morning and press on. (not whinin...just a fact!) xxoo

Roller coaster is going uphill again...

I liked the picture below so much that I hesitated to put something on top of it, but wanted to ask you to be praying again. (I know you are continually praying, bless your hearts!) Dad had a very bad day today. Flushed looking, can hardly open his little eyes and his heart is beating fast again. Mom and I had to leave at 1:30 so I could take HER to the Dr. Her leg is red and swelling and she is having a flare up of vasculitis again. She got a shot and 2 prescriptions...poor dear. Dr. asked if she could possibly stay home from the hospital for a few days to let it heal a bit and her face dropped. It's hard to tell her what to do with Dad in such fragile condition. It's times like these that we just pray that our God will guide us every step of the way. I do feel his comforting arms holding me up...and I am so grateful!

So...thank you again for praying. We are asking for God's will to be done.

"Not my will, but thine oh Lord."

Finding time again...

I had some time tonight and just pulled up the pictures Marty had taken at the wedding and before I got through very many, this one captured my heart! Made me relive the wedding day all over again! Seems like so much of it was just a blur, then the weeks that followed have been so hectic and emotional as well, so this brought a smile to my face!! I had to play around and see if I could remember anything my teacher has shown me! There are SO many good snaps of that weekend that I will share, but for now, here is something other than "medical reports"!

Miss you girlie girls! :)

2 cans of Ensure on Day 38

He's got his orders...now waiting for a vacant room! How sad is it that the entire hospital is FULL! Dad has orders from all his drs. now that he can move out of the ICU so we are waiting. He's not sad though b/c he has SUCH good care from those ICU nurses! Help me think of something sweet I can do for them...there are about 37 ICU employees all together so I'm having a hard time coming up with something to show our appreciation. Seems a batch of cookies just doesn't relay our gratitude! I'm open for ideas ya'll!

Dad drank 1/2 cont. of Cranberry juice, 1/2 carton of milk and 2 cans of Ensure by the time we got there at 12:30. He'll have more of the same for dinner and I puree'd up the chicken noodle soup and am planning on taking a batch for tomorrow, and put the other 2 in the freezer for whenever he wants it. It looks pretty yukky, but tastes pretty yummy....and as Leslie said, it was made with MUCH love so it'll surely help him get the protein he needs.

I worked with him for a bit with his leg strengthening today. He can put pressure against my hands...so I was encouraged. His calves are about the size of a big banana...yeah...not too big, BUT...when he gets food in him and he begins to heal from the infection, he'll get stronger. He has always had "bird legs" (not sure where mine came from) so I'm not going for weight liftin calves, just something to hold him in the upright position. It would be marvelous if he could just go straight to a rehab hospital instead of having to stop off at a nursing home for short term rehab, but we'll have to see how he responds to all this.

Please continue to pray that the antibiotics will continue to do their thing with as little side effects as possible. (aka mouth sores!! ARGH!) He is in pretty good spirits today...so thank you for praying that God will give him peace and joy and take away the depression and fear. The enemy is fierce....but our God is VICTORIOUS!!

Making a good and healthy dinner tonight...even making dessert! Sandra Le.e's Red Velvet Bars! Dennis will be excited! I don't think I've actually MADE a dessert since the wedding cake. Oh...that's right...I didn't MAKE the cake...just paid for it! LOL!

Raspberry Sherbet....DAY 37!

Dad ate one WHOLE little hospital sized cup of it today! Sounds like a little to you, but it's the first thing he's taken by mouth, other than sips of water for almost 3 weeks! He kept it down and I'm taking that chicken noodle soup up tomorrow...puree'd of course. I'm determined to get some protein in that man! This is what he needs to heal! The culture came back still positive from his Wed. night sugery. There will need to be several (maybe 3 mos. or so) of antibiotics to kill this germ. Everyone...PLEASE have good handwashing habits! This is a super-bug and it's really contageous...so WASH your hands everytime you come in the door. Get some antibacterial soap and lather up and RUB for a good 15 seconds and dry well. Change out your handtowels everyday. I know I sound like a germ-0-phobe, but this is a bacteria that you can pick up anywhere..not only at a hospital. If anyone thinks they have a spider bite looking bump that doesn't go away...get to the Dr. and have it cultured. It can be cured...but they need test it to find the right antibiotic first! It can make you VERY, VERY sick.

So...dad MAY get out of ICU tomorrow. He has about 6 Drs. and they ALL have to be in agreement before he can get moved. He has the permission of at least 2 as of 4 this afternoon. He seemed much better today, more at peace and resting well. Scott came over yesterday and shaved him, which helps anyone look better! Today when we came in, they had just changed his bed, clean gown and sheets and his hair was combed! I am soo thankful for nurses who care for their patients as much as they do their "numbers"! We have had such good care at St. Margarets!

I found muscles today that I had forgotten I had! Feels good...makes me think I really worked yesterday! Looking for a good nights sleep tonight. A new day is a comin'...Lord willing!

Night...

A Beautiful Home...

..and a garage full of boxes!

Today we helped Patti and Tim move into their beautiful new home! Out in the country in a sweet little wooded valley...surrounded by woods. I think she has about as much "stuff" as I do and their 3 car garage is full but there are 1 1/2 more storage units to empty! I have a picture of Patti, but will have to wait to post it b/c my camera is downstairs and I'm too tired to go fetch it! : ) They have a beautiful home and God has blessed them in every detail of it! 2 new neighbors came a callin' today and it is so nice to be in such a caring area of the country!

Dad has had good and bad moments throughout the day today. He's having just a rough time getting any healing done, but I just checked with the nurses and he is comfortable and in good spirits tonight. His hgb. is 9.5 today...nothing to get excited about but not falling. Heartrate is holding more normal today but he's sure struggling with depression and anxiety with all this. As most of you know, this has been a difficult part of Dad's life for over 50 years, but this has him even more anxious and wondering all the "what if's". I was blessed this afternoon when I called his nurse and she said that he had been anxious but she went in and prayed with him and he calmed down. (THANK YOU LORD for nurses who are willing to minister to their patients in the spiritual realm!!)

So..I'm off to the shower...long hard day, but it feels soooo good to be tired b/c of PHYSICAL labor instead of mental labor! (I think there is still some of that going on too...as most of you know me!) It was a good day...we were blessed. Amy....we sure missed your help with the moving! You've always been SUCH a great helper in that area! Guess you missed US when you moved to AZ too, huh?

I don't know what to think...

But I'll take it!

I could make this long and detailed, since that is my "way", but Dennis and I stopped in tonight and Dad was sitting up in bed and waved at us as we rounded the corner of the nurses station! He was chatting a mile a minute and his voice was strong and clear. Asked us about gas prices...told us he wasn't in any pain to speak of, was coughing very well and complaining that his mattress was hard! Today when Mom and I left, his BP was all over the place, he was having many episodes of tachycardia (fast heartbeat) and they called in his cardiologist who started some meds on him and I did'nt know, once again, if he'd be with us tomorrow. So...this trip in tonight was such a blessing for me! I don't know what to expect tomorrow, but I'll take this tonight and was so grateful to see Dad up, alert and not in much pain. Oh..he still has pain, afterall, it was only 2 nights ago he was in emergency surgery, but oh my goodness....tonight was a blessing.

Mom and I had a very hard but important talk this afternoon too. (THANK you so much, Leslie...you're advice and prayer this morning was absolutely perfect for this afternoon!) I am so thankful for my dear friends who offer me such good advice, share verses and pray for and with me. God is just pouring out His blessings in this trial daily. I had a very hard time last night and had to once again, retrain (discipline!) my mind to think on things from above. I just struggle in this area so much, but I am thankful that God loves me enough to teach me over and over again when I stumble! This is such a growing process for this ol' gal!

Planning to help Patti and Tim (Adam's parents) move into their new home tomorrow. I'll run up to see Dad in the morning while Dennis takes his conference call, then we'll head out to the country for the day...that's OUR plan anyhow. We'll see what the Lord has for us!

One more thing. My friend Lori shared a marvelous verse with me tonight that I must have overlooked. Psalm 57:1 It say's:

"Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me, for in you my soul takes refuge. I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings until the disaster has passed."

Isn't that a beautiful depiction of us and our Heavenly Father?? I LOVE the last part..."until the disaster has passed". Oh...I hope it's passed! ; )

Sorry...this WASN'T short, was it?

Be at Rest, Be At Rest once more...

Oh my soul, For the Lord has been good to ME!

This song came to my mind this morning and I sang it all morning. In fact, it's been on my heart all day long. I went to the hospital this morning alone. Mom had a good nights sleep and I just wanted to let her rest this morning. Dad gave me a "winker" when I came into the room and he was resting well. I held his hand, talked to him and prayed with him. Then I began to hum that song...he nodded and I began to sing it softly to him. Such a precious time it was! I left him resting comfortably around noonish and went to get Mom and take her to lunch. We had mexican...are you surprised?? Good lunch and she felt like she wanted to go up and see him. When we got there he was distressed...and in some pain. They gave him something for pain and anxiety and we stayed for a couple hours. When it was time for us to go, he got anxious again and cried for us to stay...so we did for awhile longer. There is a stinker of a Dr. (one of his Drs. partners) who came in and was very cold and matter of fact. She is not a good teacher, infact, she is probably best suited for a laboratory, but she proceeded to tell me (in broken English) after my question about how long we should expect to see a postitive test for MRSA..that "He will die with it". At that point, Dad's head came off the pillow and he began to shake with fear. I tried to "explain" to him quickly that it was a bacteria that might stay in the body for a very long time, but most people live with it and it doesn't cause problems. All he heard was the first statement. I finally told her that would be all we would need from her today...and she left saying that she could write Mom and I prescriptions for an antibiotic to de-colonized us but we'd then have to clean our house from the ceiling to the floor and either not come back into his room or wear gowns, gloves and masks the rest of his life. At that point, it was all I could do to maintain my Christianity outwardly, but the Lord controlled my mouth and as soon as she left, I began talking to my parents to explain this virus/bacteria. Needless to say, I'm upset tonight. I called back to talk to his nurse and see if he calmed down after we left and she informed me that he had quite an episode of A-Fib, but they got it under control with meds. I need God's peace tonight...evenings are hardest for me and I cling to the Word most during that time period. Well, I do all day long, but I go running in the evenings! Pray once again for peace...does this mean that if we pray for it, like patience, then we are tested with opportunities to experience the Peace of God more? Maybe I should rethink that then, huh?
At this point, I don't know what to think...or say...or do. I'm just waiting on God's timing I guess. For healing, for death, for peace, for wisdom, for another day...

Be At Rest
Be at rest, be at rest once more
O my soul, for the Lord has been good
Be at rest, be at rest once more
O my soul, o my soul
Be at rest once more
For the Lord has been good to you

For You, O Lord
Have delivered my soul from death
My eyes from tears
And You, O Lord
Have delivered my feet from stumbling

Words and Music by Jeremy Johnson
© 2005 Van Ness Press, Inc. / ASCAP

To multiplied trials, He multiplies peace!

Short version b/c I'm exhausted. The surgery didn't get started until 8:30 PM. He was finished at 9:45 or so. The first surgery(May 1st) had shown absolutely no signs of healing at all. 2 reasons for this to occur. 1) He hasn't been able to eat food...b/c of the sores in his mouth and this is how albumin is made (eating protien rich foods). His was seriously low. 2) The steroids the pulmonologist have been giving him to protect his lungs for the past month are not allowing healing to occur either. The surgeon is going to meet with the lung dr. in the am to discuss backing those off. We will seemingly face lung failure or not healing. Neither look promising. My heart is at peace...it's hard to see my mother prepare to loose the love of her life. (57 years of marriage!!) I look at that little face as she holds dads hand and can almost know the things she's thinking...you know them too! "Honey, I'm doing to die before you!" "Honey, do you think we will grow old together?" Honey...I hope we get raptured hand in hand". You and your spouses have those little quirky things...I know you do! Anyhow..that is the hardest thing for me to deal with today...those things of the mind and the grieving that seem has already begun. Once again, I would have to discipline my OWN mind and think upon things that are righteous, pure, praiseworthy and true. Stuggled a bit in this area today. The nursing staff and Drs. are top notch...so I'm comfortable with that. I just think his body is wearing down and I don't know his reserve. Only the Lord does.

Will update as I can. Pray for peace and actually, for others to see the Joy of Christ in my life as I continue to support my mother through this trial, the trail of her life! I'm' tired...but our God NEVER gets weary! When I am weak, HE is strong!!

PRAISE THE LORD, OH MY SOUL..and ALL THAT IS WITHIN ME PRAISE HIS HOLY NAME!

just pray...

Dr. Levine just called, Dad's incision "dehissed" which means it didn't heal and tore open when he coughed this morning. They are taking him back to surgery around 3:00 PM today. May God's Will be done on earth as it is in heaven! He IS my fortress and my rock! I WILL cling to him when the mountains tremble and HE will see me through.

Thank you all for caring and for praying.

Tough Day...GREAT DAY!!

For those who are following Dad...today was hard for him, as most days are. I'll keep this one short.

1. He was in a chair for 2 (yes TWO) hours!

2. He pulled himself up to a semi-stand for 45 seconds with his head up looking at the physical therapist! Back down in the chair he went! He thought he was gonna die, but he didn't! :)

3. He ate a few bites of orange sherbet...and the Dr. advanced him to a full soft diet for tonight!

4. Mouth sores a teeney tiny bit better, still so very hard to swallow. Ordered some lidocaine viscous to swish and swallow about 30 min. before he eats something to help numb the pain.

5. He MUST begin to take in food orally. They have to take out his TPN line soon b/c of a high infection risk.

6. PRAISE THE LORD, his pain is beginning to decrease in his belly!!!!!

7. He is asking for bottled water from home (b/c hospital water tastes sweet!) Amy and Ally can understand this one..they refuse to drink water from the bathroom faucet to this day!

8. He asked for chicken noodle soup for dinner!!! I stopped and asked the nurse if I could make some and bring it in for him...she said yes, if I would puree' it first. I'm making a pot of soup tonight! : )

That's it for today...oh...I got more of my house cleaned this morning, complete with scrubbing the kitchen floor with my "OLD" floor mate! Man...that thing is GREAT! Thanks for continuing your prayers!! I loved hearing you prayed all the way to school to get the kids Kristin! Isn't it great that our God hears us with our eyes open?? : ) Mike came up to visit Dad again today...and left a note that they had a good visit! I'm sooo very thankful for St. Michael!!! We love him so!

WOW....that bout' sums it up!

The first WOW is that I got my upstairs cleaned this morning! THREE WEEKS since the last good cleaning! It was making ME sick so I had to get r dun! Ran out of time but will do the first floor tomorrow morning, then there is carpet to tear out of the basement and all the wet cardboard boxes to finish discarding. OH..Patty and Tim move to their new house this Sat. so we'll be there helping as much as we can. (that'll be FUN!!) Patty is so organized....we'll have that done in a couple hours!

Now for the second and biggest WOW!...They got Dad up in a chair for 30 (yes, THIRTY) minutes today! I know you all are scratching your heads...and I was too, but it is true. Mom and I saw it with our very own eyes! PT came in and worked with some passive arm and leg movements for 10 min. or so, then they said "We're going to help you get in the chair for a little bit!" Dad's eyes were like saucers...wondering HOW in the world this was going to happen. He did GREAT!! They have a lift over the beds and they had him roll onto it then sat him up and it just cradled him in a sitting position and smoothly lifted him right over the recliner and they lowered him down. I can't say this was the best part of his day, BUT HE DID IT!! Dr. said they HAD to get him in the upright position today and they did. Kudo's to the PT girls at St. Margarets Hospital!! OH..he has a LONG way to go. This was just the beginning. Pray for our future. There has been some talk of a nursing home (short term) until he can get strong enough to do 3 hrs. per day of PT, then they will move him to a rehab hospital to WORK until he can get strong again. This is going to be a HUGE hurdle for him and for Mom. Of course, you NEVER in a million years see something like this happening to YOU...so they are a little unnerved about it all. One day at a time...that's all we can do. God gives us the grace to get through one day at a time, right?? So...help us pray in that light. My mind can easily (understatement) run ahead and wonder what tomorrow will hold, but I am learning to discipline my mind, if nothing else in this trial. The sores are a little tiny bit better. Dr. said it was viral as a result of the massive antibiotics he's received this past 4 weeks. They have him on more antibiotics to help that. I saw his incision today. Could have done without that, but they say it's looking "good". Hmmmm....okay.

Ya know the old addage...baby steps first?? Well, this was "sitting up first"! BUT HE DID IT! YEAH DAD!!!! : )

Happy Mothers Day to all you Mamas!

We began our day at church with Pastor Steve finishing up the book of Ruth. So many precious promises in that book and such a good reminder of the providence of our God! Our next series will be a walk through the book of Luke...always good to review that one, huh?

Ally and Adam came over and brought me a little gift (remember seeing the "Blessing" cutout at Amy's wedding?? Well, Ally and Adam got me one of my very own!), then we picked up grandma and met the McKown gang at Villa Cesar for a wonderful Mothers Day brunch. It was nice to change the pace a bit, yet our minds were still on Dad at the hospital. The kids picked him up that chocolate shake on the way and we met them up at the hospital. Poor dad...his mouth ulcerations are so bad he can hardly swallow and could only take a few bits of the shake. We had them put it in the freezer just incase! His belly seems a little less painful today and he's coughing up some good stuff...ewwww...but the prayer request now is that they can find out what is causing the really painful mouth/throat ulcerations and do something to cure those. I think he'd eat if he could SWALLOW! Labs are fairly good...breathing is better today, swelling seems to be going down too...just that sore throat! We continue to pray!

Hope each of you mama's had a lovely day. I got a nice card from my Arizona kids...and got to see Amy's muglet on her blog...so that was fun! Ally's going to get herself a blog when I have some time to play with her! Time, time...never enough time!!

IRONMAN!

Dr. Fara, Dad's pulmonologist calls him "Ironman". Dr. Marcotte, his GP came in today and said, "This man has 9 lives!" Mom and I brought him a strawberry milkshake and he ate 1/2 of it!!! We are amazed!

I was up at the hospital by myself this morning for an hour or so with Dad. He could hardly breathe...couldn't talk at all, only shake his head. I asked him if I could do anything for him and he shook "no", but then managed to utter a few words. "The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away." Tears dripped from my eyes and I told him if it was his time, that it was okay to go, but we really wanted him around a few more years if it was all the same to him. He just nodded "no". The nurse came in and gave him 40 mg. of lasix IV but he said he couldn't take his meds by mouth b/c his throat was so sore. I sprayed it with Chloroseptic and after another 10 min. he said to call his nurse, he would try to take them. She mixed his crushed pills in some baby food (bananas) and he took them well. They were getting ready to change his dressing and do a resp. therapy treatment on him, so we (Dennis came up about an hour after I had gotten there) left and I told him I was bringing Mom up at 1:00. Asked him what could I bring him and he said a strawberry shake from DQ. DONE!!!! Mom and I were up there at exactly 1:00 with milkshake in hand when we ran into his pulmonologist (whom is fantastic!) and he greeted us in the hall and said ,"He looks and sounds GREAT!!!" I had to remind him WHO we were and WHO my dad was and he laughed and said he knew exactly who we were and who Dad was and he sounded wonderful! So....down the hall we went and into his room...found him sitting up, smiling and asking if we remembered his milkshake! I didn't know whether to laugh or cry...but just praised GOD for the turn around! What a difference Lasix makes in a person! He ate 1/2 of the shake (this is his first of anything but very small amts. of clear liquids for well over a week!)...shot some Morphine as it began to digest and we left him around 4:45. I had to run home to get more medicine for him (that we have to bring in) and when I went back, his nurse was helping him drink some iced tea (no ice!) with Splenda! He was sucking on that straw the entire couple minutes I was there, so I told him we'd be back tomorrow...he reminded me to bring him a Chocolate Shake tomorrow! LOL! So....God is good. No matter what...HE IS GOOD! Little things in life that make me smile...Dad wanting a milkshake! (BTW...Mom and I had one too!) Happy Mothers Day to all you mama's out there!!! And thank you for all your sweet notes!

Discouraging News

Mom and I ran into the Dr. today in the hall. He took us to the desk and went over an abdominal xray from yesterday, looked at his labs and talked with us. Basically, he told us that Dad had a "streak of bad luck" (oh boy..I almost had to have a chat with this Dr. about 'luck', but held off) and he didn't believe he would make it through this series of "insults" to his body. He didn't give us any time lines and we didn't ask, but they are treating his symptoms, trying to keep him comfortable and basically said it was up to his body if it was strong enough to heal or not. Of course, this is not the news we wanted to hear, but we also want the truth and we can see with our own eyes that he's not getting better. "The Lord is my rock and my fortress...whom shall I fear?" We look to the Lord, trusting his ways are perfect and are asking Him now, if it is his will that Dad go home, that he might have mercy on him and take him quickly. I had another precious moment with Dad right before we left today. I was praying with them and afterwards he looked up at me with those dark brown eyes and said, "I love you Cheryl, very much and I love Jesus!" It brought such joy to my heart to hear those words, yet it broke my heart at the same time. Ya know what I mean? I don't want to hang onto him if he needs to let go, but he's my daddy....and I'll miss him so much. Please pray as you are led....the Holy Spirit knows how to pray for us best and we are resting in the arms of Jesus. May Dad's day's be free of such intense pain. He has a very bad sore throat now and can't swallow. Pray that might be eased! In all things we want to glorify our Savior! "To multiplied trials, he brings multiplied peace"! May we experience this tonight!

From my Dear Friend, Carolyn...

"He giveth more grace when the burden grows greater, He sendeth more strength when the labors increase, to added affliction He addeth His mercy, to multiplied trials His multiplied peace. When we have exhausted our store of endurance, when our strength has failed and the day is half done, when we reach the end of our hoarded resources, Our Father's full giving is only begun. His love has no limit, His grace has no meausre, His power has no boundary known unto men, for out of His infinite riches in Jesus He giveth and giveth again!"
~Annie Johnson Flint

Thank you my best friend...you are such an encouragement to my soul! Dad isn't doing well today....or else I am loosing my focus again. (very likely!) His platelets are up to 118,000 (which is almost back to normal) and his hgb. is 12.5 (normal). Electrolytes are buzzing around a little, but I think most of the other stuff is good. He just LOOKS so tired and drained. I don't like the way he's "looking". All of the Drs. say he looks great! I'm thinking they need glasses! Pray for endurance and wisdom. I am so thankful he has said that he knows Jesus and is confident he will spend eternity with him when it's his time. He prayed last week that God's will be done. I rest in that. Praying that we will have strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow, for GREAT IS THY FAITHFULNESS!!!

A GREAT reminder!

May 8, 2008
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: You really have no idea what's in store today.

There's one basic issue that will determine how you respond to anything today: What's your purpose in life? If your goal is to be happy or accepted or loved, then you'll face a lot of obstacles in meeting it.
But if your purpose is to exist for God's glory, then you can accept whatever comes as part of His plan and purpose. You'll embrace the hard things knowing that they were designed by God to make you more like Jesus.
Have you settled that issue? Would you say, "Lord, it's not about me—it's about You. All that matters is that You are glorified"?

With Seeking Him, I'm Nancy Leigh DeMoss.

(updated this evening: the highlighted part of this message is highlighted to remind ME how to walk in his grace!) May I be more like Jesus! "Help me Lord to embrace the hard stuff!"

Day 26...

Just a quick update to keep from repeating myself over and over. Dad continues to make slight improvements. Overall, he is as weak as a baby kitten. Cannot tolerate sitting on the side of the bed for more than 3 minutes. He took his own N/G tube out of his nose yesterday and the nurse said if he didn't get nauseated, they could leave it out. Sofar, so good. He's on a clear liquid diet, but got a scolding from his surgeon today for not eating anything. He ate 1/4 of his dinner tonight. He graduates to FULL LIQUIDS tomorrow if he's a good boy! They pulled the Swan...which is not a bird, but a tube that goes into the IV in his neck and into his heart, which measures MANY things that have to do with heart function. Those were all doing good, so they got rid of that. I think too b/c he tested positive for mrsa virus as well as VRE (both antibiotic resistant bacterias). There are select few that will kill this bacteria, so we are thankful for the infectious disease Dr. that is on top of these infections! His platelets are up to 90,000 this morning, up from 47,000 2 days ago, 48,000 yesterday and 90,000 today. Dr. believes strongly now that it was one of the antibiotics that was eating his platelets as well. I do think most of his labs are normal now...except his liver enzymes which could easily be eleveated until the inflammation goes down. It's his lung volume now that they don't know if will return. Depends on his recovery. His belly is still very sore, but he's coughing like a trooper! I saw the incision today. They only put 4 staples in a 6-7" incision and are letting it heal from the inside out. Kinda gross, but the Dr. said he will heal better this way and the chance of keeping a pocket of infection in there is much better this way. He said it looked "beautiful" and Dad was about 5 days ahead of schedule as far as he was concerned. Dennis and I didn't know if that meant that the Dr. thought he was going to die 5 days ago, or if in fact he was doing that good! When you are on the inside looking out....we dont' see such marvelous recovery! Maybe we need another Florida vacation?? Ha!
Again, thank you for praying! Mike Mat.iscik was up yesterday and preached a little mini sermon to Dad from Philippeans 4...on anxiety! Isn't God good? Dad liked Mike alot. What a pastor!

More as I can. love you all.

My little Farm Girl!

I'm so proud of Allyson! She "Got er dun" without my help since I've been so tied up at the hospital this past 3 weeks! Sorry honey, I really wanted to be there to help you plant, but you've been so gracious in letting me spend time with Gpa and not once complaining! Isn't this just the most beautiful dirt you've ever seen?? Bet you can just smell that dirt, huh Ame? Nice sandy soil in the Wheatfield area! Can't wait to watch it grow and start enjoying some of the fruits of your labor! Thanks for planting green beans sweetie....I'll teach you how to make gma beans and you won't regret it!

A New Girl in Town!

Welcome Home Sweet Baby Girl!!! We have prayed for you and waited so long and the Lord has answered our prayers! You have been fearfully and wonderfully made and with you in mind, our Lord God has given you a wonderful family that will raise you in His ways! You have been blessed dear one! We loved you before you ever came to be...and we love you more just seeing your sweet face. You are such a precious gift and I can hardly wait to come visit you! Sometimes God gives us a little boost to lift our hearts...and today little one, YOUR face has lifted my soul! Our God has kept you safe and loved...now you get to COME HOME with your forever family!! Congratulations Edigers on your newest family member! She is PERFECT! Oh that face!!! Love to you all!!!

Graphics by: Good Fortune by LLiella's Design

Day 25...MAN ALIVE!!!

Yes, he's still alive! : ) This morning he actually was more alert and seemed to be more like "Dad" again. Little blessings...and they are received with thanksgiving!!! His platelets are up to 48,000....not a big climb, but they didn't go down! His WBC's are normal, which is weird since he supposedly has so much infection in is belly. The Infectious Disease Dr. say's it's hard for him to believe that Dad has mrsa...b/c he looks like he's getting better. I'm thankful for docs that actually LOOK at a patient and not just at the chart! His lung doc has nicknamed Dad, "Ironman"! That is exactly what I thought!!! My daddy is SUCH a fighter! If anyone can lick this, he will! I've never seen anyone work so hard at getting a good cough out than he does...and when I'm up there he is pleased to "show off" for me and try hard to produce something for me to see! Labs are consistantly improving...so we are grateful for all these baby steps. I want to see him up in a chair, but first things first. He was asking all day for ice cream....which is a sign of recovery for Dad. (actually, 3 hrs. before his emergency surgery he ate a whole cup of ice cream...so I guess that can be skewed too!) I just want to thank you all so much again for praying for us. Truly, the Holy Spirit is ministering to us in ways I never could imagine...and I know it is a result of prayer. God knows our needs even before we do...and I'm just so thankful...thankful for the hiccups in life that make us drop to our knees b/c our GOD is the only one that understands fully. He is the sovereign ONE that knows how to comfort us and he uses each of you to be his hands and feet on this earth! I cannot begin to express my love for each of you! I know miles distance us physically, but spiritually, we are side by side and THAT, my dear friends, is just such a gift! May we NEVER, EVER take that lightly! Mom is doing better today. We went out for chips and salsa, then stopped at Sam's club, then stopped and got her new "specs" which look mighty fine! Then, we ended up stopping at the hospital again for lab updates and for a little late afternoon visit for Dad. He wanted ice cream again, but must wait till the N/G tube comes out for that. They are clamping it now, to see if he can tolerate a build up of anything in his tummy. Bowel sounds are still very faint, so they don't want to pull that too soon, lest he get nauseated...and well...you know! : )

On a lighter note...Eliana Sophia was in the arms of her new Mommy and Daddy today! Actually, probably last night late (our time) and THAT has given me such joy and something else to occupy this racing mind of mine! God is so good.....this little china doll has no idea of the blessings which await her! I am just so excited for them and can't wait to come see her!

More tomorrow....I have tons of laundry and ironing to do.

Day 23

Since I have so many emailing me....I am just going to post these blogs for info. I'll try, as time allows, to put some fun things in here as well, but for now...another medical update.

Dad has mrsa virus in his abdominal fluid. The Dr. was very good and is ordering a new antibiotic that the virus isn't resistant to and we are hoping and praying for good effects. He has so many issues...besides the colostomy, he still has no bowel sounds (which isn't ALL that abnormal, esp. with the peritonitis that he has) but then he has the mrsa virus infection in there and the Dr. carefully used the word "sepsis" which is infection that can spread to the blood. He feels there is enough broad spectrum antibiotics going that it should help that. The main concern today is the falling platelet count. His is 47,000 and normal is 130,000-150,000. Critical is below 10,000, which at that point if he were to bleed, it would be fatal. So...pray that nothing breaks, splits or tears! He LOOKS better today, if you can call this better. That gives me hope. He is talking more and b/c his pain is so bad, they have put him or a morphine pump so he can regulate his meds within limits. He is coughing up some junk...and I DO mean junk. This is good b/c his lungs are full of it. Sofar, no infection there, but it's a matter of time unless he can get that all up. With the incision AND the stoma, there of course, is so much pain to endure.

Now for the BLESSING OF THE DAY! His nurse yesterday and today goes to our church! I found this out only today b/c Bethel is so large, it's hard to know everyone....but we were talking today and one thing led to another and we found out were were at the same church together. It is such a nice added blessing to find this out. I rest a bit easier. She is such a good nurse (as most all his nurses have been!) so I am just so thankful for those dear women who give Dad such wonderful care.

Mom is feeling a bit more rested today, as am I! Thankful for a good nights sleep!! Church was wonderful this morning and once again, I was blessed with Chap. 4 of Ruth. God loves and provides SO BIG sometimes I can hardly get my arms around it! I can tell you that even though I have my weak moments, for the most part, HE has given me such wonderful peace throughout this past 3 weeks. It is true though...that to receive his peace, we must keep our minds fixed on HIM...the author and perfector of our faith! No looking to the left or the right, but DEAD AHEAD!!! He is there to safely lead us home! I still think of that marvelous analogy that Sandy posted last week...on when you see a ship leaving, you look at it longingly until it is out of sight....and all the while, there is someone on the other side, watching it come in! Ohhh....that sends shivers up my spine! Thank you again for posting that!

This is too long.....outta here!

Saturday night update

I know this is beginning to be a medical blog and that is not my intention, but for now, it is the best and quickest way I can share with all of you who are so faithful to pray and think of us. So...please continue your prayers on our behalf, as the Spirit leads.

Dad's had a very hard day. His hgb. went down to 8.10 and they aren't sure if he's bleeding again, or if it's just the lag time of surgery and fluids that his body is getting rid of. No matter, they have given him 2 unit's of blood again this afternoon and his pain has increased somewhat. They are keeping him comfortable with Morphine. He has such a tough hill to climb to get around this and we continue to pray for physical strength, but for God's will too. Sometimes I wonder what that will be? Sometimes I am glad I don't know. It's just hard to watch him to suffer.

Once again, thank you for your prayers...they are sustaining us.

One tube down...

They began weaning dad off the vent this morning since he was overriding it since last night. They finally pulled the intubation tube at 7:00 this evening and he is breathing well on his own and doing fine for now. Still has 100 hoses (seems like it anyhow!) coming from his body in some form or another. I don't like this.

It was a hard afternoon for Mom and I. 2 rooms down they lost a patient. Mom and Dads cardiologist ( Dr. Stephani Marshall, whom I have grown to love) was the other lady's dr. too and I saw her sitting at the desk crying. She looked up and saw me and came around the desk and hugged me like there was no tomorrow and told me she was waiting to pronounce someones wife, mom, grandma and great-grandma...and it never gets easier. I whispered "when you are weak, HE will make you strong" into her ear and she kissed my cheek, whispered into MY ear to go back into Dad's room and tell him to be strong...and fight this b/c she couldn't do this with 2 of her favorite patients in the same day!) and went into the lady's room with her family all there. I stand amazed at how God works...simply amazed. Please pray for this family....who lost their loved one today. They too clung to one another in the hallway praying, just as Scott and I did yesterday...asking God to comfort them and to bring them through this trial. Why is it so many people wait until death, whether it be their loved ones or their own before they turn to the only One who saves? It's a mystery to me.

Anyhow...it was a long day with a heavy heart...but for tonight...Dad is resting well. Tomorrow will be a tough day for him, but Sunday will be harder. Cultures will begin coming back and we are praying now that there are no nasty infections in his abdominal cavity. He is being covered by some mega antibiotics for now.

Not my will, but thine, OH LORD!

Isaiah 26:3-4

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the LORD, is the Rock eternal."

This has been a verse that has been going over and over in my mind all day and I had to share it with you b/c our Gracious Lord gave me this peace today. I honestly felt like the Lord was just swooping under me about 10:00 this morning and carried me all the way home tonight! What an awesome GOD we serve!

Ally and I got to the hospital at 9:00 this morning and Dad was obviously worse. Met his Dr. there almost as soon as we arrived and he had just looked at a CT scan they had ordered and he saw a lot of air in his belly, but admitted that he didn't read xrays, so he was going to corner the radiologist right then. Back up to his room in less than 15 min. and from that time on, I couldn't tell you much about time the rest of the day, but it went very fast! Dad had a perforated bowel from a diverticuli which had ruptured into his abdominal cavity. No wonder that dear man's tummy hurt so bad! This was an emergency situation and the surgeon that is a "belly expert" was scrubbing in at another hospital but stopped what he was doing, apologized to the lady on the TABLE! and told her he had an emergency at St. Margarets. (pray for this lady, for tomorrow she will have surgery!!) Dad was prepped and in surgery within about an hour, to the best of my recollection. The Dr. had given us a choice which way to proceed b/c of Dad's weakened condition and all the many medical problems that he is facing right now, he said his chances were not great that he would survive. Of course, if we didn't go forward with surgery, he said he might not live the next 4 hrs. We chose to proceed with surgery and pray....God knows the time he will call him home, but we couldn't let him die b/c of our choice to not allow him to undergo surgery.
2 hrs. in surgery....a colostomy (b/c of the perforated bowel and adhesions), he is now back in ICU with tubes coming from every oriface but his ears! His will is strong b/c he was over riding the ventilator and I could tell he wanted that tube out. The next 24-36 hrs. will be critical.
As I have said so often...I don't know what tomorrow will hold, but I KNOW WHO HOLDS OUR TOMORROW!
I thank you all in advance for your prayers....knowing you will speak to our Father on our behalf as we are weary. I can't tell you how in my weakness today, I felt my heavenly Father's strength!
A precious thing I must share with you. Before surgery, we went in to tell Dad what was happening. He was so weak, he could hardly speak, but he woke up enough to hold our hands as we stood over him and prayed. Before Scott could even say a word, Dad spoke up and began talking to our Great and Holy God. It was the most precious time I've ever had with him....as he just from his heart, asked God to protect him, he praised Him and asked the Lord to do his will in his life. He prayed that God would watch after the rest of us and then he said AMEN. Then Scott and I prayed and it was a beautiful time with my parents. Ally was there as well...I just marveled at how the Lord went before us today, putting in our hearts that we were all to be there on THIS DAY at THAT TIME. (this is the first time in the 3 1/2 weeks he's been there that we have all been there at one time. Dennis came as soon as I called him and Amy was praying in AZ. I just wanted to share with you how blessed I was with this.
Please continue to pray for strength...wisdom and peace as we face the "what-if's", but for tonight...God has us all in his grip, and I'm at peace.
love you all...I will keep you informed!